What Do You Do When You Have A Really Bad Case of The Fuckits?

  1. You post Ryan Hillegas’ phone number on your website
  2. You encourage your readers to call him and ask this very simple question:

Ryan, what is your alibi for the day and evening of October 31st, 2005?

1-414-305-4122

 

If you want to call me afterwards to yell at me, tell me if Ryan said something, etc., etc., I can be reached at

503-875-4663

 

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6 comments

  • That’s hilarious!!! I’ve always wanted to know the real story behind the scratches on the back of his hands… Doubt he will ever tell!

  • Patricia Oppegard

    So I spoke to Mr Hillegas, I said my name is Patty and I’m calling from Lincoln NE and was sorry to bother, but was hoping he could solve an argument between my husband and I, that being: Do you have an alibi for Oct 31 2005? You do, right? Long pause and then he said something like “God, turn off the tv, get a life” I said okey, dokey-prob the same time he hung up.
    It was weird, why not say-“of course I do” call me a name and hang up. I don’t know how to explain it, but I got the sense he’s totally oblivious to the article in the Rolling Stone, or to the 1000’s of people that suspect him. I looked at my co worker and said he’s really going to have to work on a statement of some sort.
    So, he didn’t answer the question….hmmmm

  • I got his voice mail, I didn’t leave a message, I called from our office (M.D) in Lincoln NE, so caller id shows Dr B. It was Ryan….so, might try later

  • I’ll do this, after 9:00 am central time

    • Hi:

      Voicemail or he picked up?

      Cheers.

      • See above spoke to him the 2nd call couple hours later–it was weird, he paused so long, like he’d NEVER been asked that and why didn’t he say Absolutley, or of course I do you dumb bitch–nope, after much thought he told me to turn the TV off and get a life. He seems oblivious, or maybe he feels he’s that “protected” idk…Certainly didn’t make him less suspicious..Cheers to you Daniel-Let’s hope Zellner stomps em into the ground!